Another one of those late night rants, yep it's long!

Another one of my late night (read early morning) rants. Another one of my oh-my-god I miss home posts. Seems like my life keeps going around in circles, but it has a different radius every time. True because I was just thinking in the other day in a restroom somewhere that people judge me and I judge them, which leads to a vicious unending circle. Too bad that's precisely how society functions. I was watching random videos from the current Kingfisher Calender Girl Hunt or whatever that show is named where one of the contestants goes if you attack me I will attack you. Again, precisely how society works. We wait for no evidence, no proof when deciding to attack someone verbally, physically, mentally.
Also I fail to see how the improper grammar, the omg-so-trendy shorthand is helping anybody? For starters, it is difficult to read exactly what the other person is writing. Second, I have an inherent urge to correct these people, spelling, grammar, punctuation, the entire package. Thankfully my school had a wonderful library which was my favorite place to go to for everything apart from studying and reading. Oh well, mistakes made and lessons learnt. Though the Rutgers Libraries make my life miserable sometimes, I usually manage to find what I want. Usually.
Reading the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, I can't help but wonder how cruel people can be. More bitching about the world after I finish reading it. Considering the amount of time I have gotten to read stuff apart from textbooks and case studies, which is almost close to none, I managed to get halfway through the book. yay me.
Since I have been extremely productive beginning 2 am, I am very close to folding my 2 day old laundry before taking a nap before class. Yes you heard it night, normal people sleep at night, I take naps. Another difficulty I will now have to face is hunger. To eat a khakhro, or not to eat a khakhro. Yep, very Gujju. Plus the strong Kathiawadi accent, which might never go away, also the inherent need to eat thepla and athanu every time I am hungry, and the compulsion to order Dhokla whenever I go to an Indian restaurant. I give embracing your culture a whole new meaning I guess?
Fail at understanding the need for hash tags on Facebook after every single world. How, Why, When? Am I that behind the times that I completely missed out on this new trend. Fail at keeping up with the latest Facebook trends. And here I thought a hash tag was something that was trending only on Twitter. Silly me.
Just rediscovered music from the Chronicles of Narnia. My life has so much more meaning now. Ending my hunger with a protein bar.
I shall reserve lamenting about how I miss home and Diwali and the family lunches for a later time. 

Surviving Sandy

I should probably thank all my lucky stars and everything related to it that I survived Sandy. Not everyone did. Not everyone escaped with the only damage being loss of power in their houses. Considering our location, I am thankful I wasn't at a place where I had to evacuate all of a sudden. Living without power for a day is preferable than not having a place to live at. And definitely more preferable than having my entire dorm flooded.
I keep reading the news and seeing the pictures and videos and realize and re-realize how lucky I was. Despite being in a place located right in the middle of the path of the storm, I feel like I escaped with minimal damage.
We thought we were all prepared to face the storm. We had food, water, flashlights and stuff planned for the two days school was supposed to be off. We were under the impression it would pass. Sunday night was awesome.Monday night started with rains and winds and we thought oh well, how could you not expect winds and rains with a storm approaching. We had mega plans of cooking awesome food and eating and sleeping for two entire days, with some studying somewhere in there. Then we'd get back to school and the usual routine. We were just lucky people that Rutgers gave us two days off. And that was that.
Monday evening comes and we are constantly watching the news trying to figure out how the night ahead would be like. It didn't really sound too promising but we were hoping for the best. In preparation for the night that lay ahead of is, we made bhajiyas and pani puri. My motto being, If we die, we might a well die eating good food. And in then in the middle of making bhajiyas, the lights start flickering. We ran around preparing for the power to go. And the power went out with a bang. The winds were at their highest, we were eating bhajiyas and we hear loud thumping sounds. We run down 12 flights of stairs, only to have the power go out when we were in the lobby. We climb up 12 flights of stairs only to find a dark apartment. The next 45 minutes were probably the scariest. We sat looking at each other's faces for a while. It felt like a roller coaster ride which I couldn't get off of.
Once we figured out the wind was going to be like this and we were not going to have power, we started eating again. which is not suprising. From then on, the only problem was pooping. haha. In times of crisis, humor is your best weapon. Sitting in the candle light, eating, and talking, that's what we discovered..
We got through the night and that was probably a big big thing for us!
Getting through that night probably made me re-think life, atleast for now. Also the realization that nothing can be taken for granted ever, not even the smallest of things we have in life.
Thank god for the two people I was with. We survived the hurricane together. yay to us! We are awesome, definitely awesome! 

for dust you are, and to dust you will return

There is nothing happy or positive about death. Whether it is the statement that they have moved on to a better place or that they have found peace at last. None of these half-hearted consolations manage to fill the void that death leaves behind. All it leaves behind is an overwhelming amount of pain and memories. Try as you might. it is kind of difficult to not deal with it alone. Because face it, who the hell cares? And the people who do, are probably dealing with their own set of problems. 
People tell me I am too pessimistic and cynical. Also while on one of those semi-pessimistic sprees, my mother did point out that things have fallen into place, so far, despite taking its own sweet time. Some people are just lucky, I am so unlucky I don't even win at the slot machines. My sister pointed out once that since I now know that luck isn't my strongest point, maybe I should start working my ass off for things I want in life. Good point. 
Some people will judge you no matter how close they are to you. You might expect them to be the last people on earth to judge you, but they do, and they do it quiet well, probably so well that no one else might be able to do it. I am assuming its just too tempting to not do it even for your friends.oh well. 
This semester has probably been the worst semester of my college life so far. I have absolutely no idea how I have so much work and stuff to do, but I do. It just pops up one after the other and scares me. Like when slice of bread pops out of the toaster and scares the shit out of you with the *ting* noise it makes. The end of the semester also brings me closer to going home. And therefore, closer to coming back from home. I worry and stress about things months away. Maybe I should have just stuck to studying psychology and treated myself. Even with probably the best set of Professors I have ever had, the semester is probably going to be the death of me. If my teeth don't get to me first. 
Repression has become one of my favorite techniques to deal with stuff. Mainly applying for my internships. It works though, as long as it is repressed. Then I need chocolate. And I start watching Hindi serials. More repression to repress the repression. That's called repreception. I probably should stop repressing stuff. 
Just to reiterate the beginning of the post, 
    "If they answer not to thy call walk alone.

If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,

O thou unlucky one,

open thy mind and speak out alone.

If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,

O thou unlucky one,

trample the thorns under thy tread,

and along the blood-lined track travel alone.

If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,

O thou unlucky one,

with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart

and let it burn alone. "

Listening to this in Amitabh Bacchan's voice just doubles the effects of the words on you. 

Procrastination 2.0

I never feel the need to apologise for who I am, or why I am the way I am. Some people do it, and I fail to understand why. You are who you are, no one can take that away from you. True, I am weird, I can creep people out, I think I did creep a few people out last night, but hey, weird is good sometimes. It's a breath of fresh air from boring and monotonous and the same old thing every single day.
Also how is it that every time I have food in my hands, someone has a camera in theirs? oh well, I do eat all the time, and my world revolves around food, I might as well let the world know. sigh.
I am back to procrastinating on writing my papers by writing a blog post. I've missed doing this. The paper I am writing this time is on how a dead man brought change. That's creepy again but in my defense, it's an old Kannada novel we're reading in class. Sadly, I don't know how to read Kannada, now if it were Gujarati, I'd have written the entire paper in Gujarati too. It's a completely different matter that my Professor wouldn't have been able to make head or tail of it.
I am a junior. It is scary. What's even more scary is I am going to graduate in 2 years. I actually contemplated going to Grad School just so that I could stay in school. But that's just denial in a weird way. Besides, one needs patience to study more, which I lack, on all fronts, no matter what. One more shortcoming. I asked my best friend to be patient with the things going on in his life, and he's like isn't that ironic, I of all the people was asking him to be patient. That's funny too, if you look at it.
We went to IHOP the other day, to eat pancakes. I felt bad for the guy who was on duty. But I was mad at him for not replacing the Bacon with hash browns >.<. I mean common, all you had to do was fry hash browns instead, how tough is that ? But I replaced hash browns with onion rings. Which brings me to the leftover pancakes which I must eat. Letting it waste in the fridge is not a good idea. Those poor poor pancakes.
I started watching House form beginning. I like Dr.House, he's my kind of a person. So much sarcasm in the episodes that I am in sarcasm heaven right now. Maybe that's why I decided to start watching it form the first season. It's like the my daily dose of sarcasm. Fun semester it's going to be with watching House all the time.
Precisely when I start thinking about going home, the song Coming Home starts playing on Spotify. Oh yay. More homesickness three months before I go home. I haven't been home in a year and a half. I should pat myself on the back and eat a Lindt bar. I guess that's it.
I can't help but end with a House qoute
"Everyone Lies."
If I started elaborating on this, this would turn into a 4 paged paper, single spaced. Therefore, being a nice person, I am just going to leave it at this. 

All good things come to an end

Summer. The heat, the humidity, the short clothes, the cold drinks, vacationing in exotic places. Summer is probably the most awaited time of the year, when you get to kick back and relax.
When summer began, I kept thinking how was I going to get through three months of summer without going home, and commuting and with none of my friends around for the first half of summer. Summer is over and I got through it just fine I think.
If I look at it, Summer was pretty uneventful. I spent the entire Summer commuting, studying and lazing around. Working for a while and procrastinating. That was about it. I fell in love with Starbucks again and fell out of love with Dunkin. But oh well, all that will change the moment I need two coffees a day.
While on the subject of coffee, I had promised myself that I wouldn't drink coffee the first week of college, since I would eventually come around to consuming copious amounts of coffee within the first month. Fail. The first day of classes and I drank the crappy coffee at the cafe on campus. I sometimes wonder if I would have scored better marks in my 12th Board exams if I had been allowed to drink coffee the way I drink right now. Food for thought, rather, liquid for thought.
Back to Summer, I did not realize the entire summer that the last week and a half of my summer would end up being the best part of my entire summer. Although at the end of summer and before the Orientation Week for International Students started, I did realize that I ha started looking at things differently, yet more change. Perhaps I will never stop bitching about change, despite the fact that it happens all around me. Orientation Week began and I realized that this week was the highlight of summer. I met the most wonderful people at Rutgers, namely the entire Orientation team. The week went by so fast, between the Orientation and moving my stuff into my dorm, and working, and hanging out with everyone and of course eating and getting to go see Lion King (yayayayayayay) in New York. Thursday of that week and I was so sad I was gonna eat a few packets of Oreos, but my friend agreed to save me and eat pizza with me. hah! Amazing friends I have.
Friday came and I couldn't wait for it to not end. But of course, all good things come to an end as my friend explained to me the night before when we were moving her stuff at 2 am looking like 2 homeless people. Hanging out with those people later that night I realized that I loved all of them to death, a slight exaggeration, but that just about sums up how much I wished it wouldn't end.
One of our smart cookies at Orientation suggested we make a Facebook group to remember all the weird things that people did at Orientation, and oh my, the things that people did and that we all did. Everyone's allowed to be weird. Also I realized I am pretty weird myself. But then we're all allowed to be weird in our own ways, said another friend once.
Perhaps my description of Orientation Week fails to show how much I miss it and how we all look for places and times and events so we can hang out together. But it's one of the best things that happened to me this summer. Also, because I got to give free advice to people who asked for it voluntarily. Man I love giving advice.
The downside though is the increase in the number of people on campus. One day of classes and I already wish they'd all go away. I need a place on the bus to sit to take my early morning nap. The hostile take over by the new students prevents me from doing it. yay to crankier mornings than ever and an ever increasing consumption of coffee.
So since now I am officially a marketing major, I can't get over what nephew said, that marketing people are those who just take money from people. sigh.
Here's to totally no control over my lunch and dinner timings, living on coffee, all nighters, dirty dorm rooms, sleeping among piles of clothes, and an exciting semester of watching all of the new bollywood movies with my friends, as soon as they come out. 

66 years of freedom with nothing to show for it.

We are fast approaching 15th August, India's Independence Day. It's that day of the year when everyone dresses up in orange, green and white to show national  pride. Schools and college and institutions organize functions to sing patriotic songs and think about the wars we fought to gain this independence.
I memorized Jawaharlal Nehru's speech for a recitation competition in 5th grade, and I still remember the lines,

"At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom. A moment comes which comes rarely in history, when we step out from the old to the new, when an age ends, when the soul of a nation, long suppressed, finds utterance."

10 years back, I did not realize what these words meant. I memorized them because I wanted that gold medal. Oftentimes when I repeat the speech to myself after all these years, I find significance in every word.

66 years and what do we have to show for it? A society where a woman cannot do as she pleases? A society where political organizations interpret religion in a way that supports whatever they do? Or a society where men hit women because it is "against our culture" to wear skirts and jeans but it is in our culture to slap a woman ?

I say this again and again, what is the point of a society where men become animals with each day that we move forward. A society whose male population consists of people who do not have a conscience because it is perfectly acceptable for a group of 15-20 men to molest one woman in public. Men like these have tarnished the reputation of a country known for its rich culture, history and diversity. From a country where people from all over the world came to visit famous ashrams and to experience it's mysteries, we have become a country where no woman is safe. That same woman who is said to be the "shakti" that keeps the universe going. That same woman who we worship during Durga Puja, Navratri, Diwali and numerous other Indian festivals.

I watched the video "No country for women" some 3 days back. It disturbed me so much I couldn't sleep that night. After I finished watching the video, that if I felt helpless after a 14 minute video, what must these women have gone through! If a video shook me up so much, what would this one incident have done to these women.

We live in a country where the police couldn't care less. The rationale that men will be men and women should be more careful is so ridiculous that if anyone ever uses that argument with me, it would incite me to hit them. Often people make fun of me because I talk too much like a feminist and have extreme views. At least I have the confidence to say it out loud. What are you doing about it? Either you support the issue or you don't. Your silence shows that you are like the India police, because you couldn't care less.

To the people who don't care, god forbid something like this happens to someone close to you, are you going to not care then too? Then you will be the first one to get up and declare that you will go and kill those people. Stop being a hypocrite.

Kennan and Reuben were killed because they wanted to protect the girls with them from eve teasers. The parents of a girl were killed because they wanted to protect their 13-year old daughter from men "wanting her for the night only". 16 year old Ansh was killed because he told a classmate to stop bothering his friend. Women were hit and practically molested in a pub in Mangalore because certain men thought it was inappropriate for them to be there. Mind you, their families didn't mind, but these men did. Teenage girls were molested and the boys stripped at a small personal party in Mangalore because a certain political outfit thought it was inappropriate and against our culture. And again, mind you, these were just strange men who go around flaunting Indian culture and hinduism in everyone's faces because our culture teaches us to slap a girl and molest her because she's just having fun.

Ask this question, 66 years of freedom and we don't even have a society where everyone can feel safe. We have nothing to show for these years of freedom. Oh yes, I forget the corruption and bureaucracy and all that political bullshit.

I was considering buying a pepper spray just because my college campus is kind of empty during the summer and it's always better to be cautious. After reading all this, sitting some 24 hours away from my country, I think regardless of whether I buy it or not right now, I will definitely have one the next time when I go home. 

a hate-hate relationship

People often talk about love-hate relationships. I thought I had one too, with airports. Turns out it is a mutual hate relationship. We don't meet often, but when we do, there are issues. I was always cautious about airports but the past day and a half have brought my dislike for airports to the fore front. At this rate, going to India in the coming few months will be an epic battle between me, airplanes, airports, public transport and we could possible drag in airport shuttles too.
And I haven't even started complaining about the weather yet. Turbulence during a plane ride is perhaps the worst thing that could possible happen. Trust me, I just sat through a flight where I couldn't stop thinking that this might possibly be my last flight and I might just die.
Ever experienced the feeling where your body wants to throw up but there's nothing left to throw up? Yeah, that too. Second worst thing I guess. I think my body just gave up after a while because it couldn't find anything to throw up. I sat there with one of their puke bags wondering what could my body possibly find to throw up? I had practically excreted everything I had eaten the night before and today morning. Poor my body, it realized that after a bout of trying to push stuff up.
The guy sitting beside me was like what is wrong with her? He very visibly shifted away from me the moment I grabbed the puke-bag. Poor poor guy. ha ha. Although in hindsight, I could have made him change seats if I'd made loud puke noises for long enough. There were quiet a few empty seats.
Just my luck that the day I need to get somewhere, there are no empty flights anywhere, but the next day, they have 5 empty seats. I think incidents like these gave rise to the popular expression FML.
I hear sounds sitting inside the airport and I can't even figure out if it is thunder or just airport sounds. All I want to do is not die in an airplane.
Some smart ass just started playing coldplay on his laptop like he owns the place. And I started playing coldplay on my laptop too. chain reaction. And of course there are crying babies everywhere. sigh. people.
And omg someone shot people at the premier of The Dark Knight Rises. Wtf is wrong with people. Rhetorical question because he probably has some psychological disorder. Or maybe he's just really passionate about the movie and the series?
I can see a guy making actual pretzels but it would be hilarious if I just stood at the glass window staring at him making pretzels. Not that I am creepy or anything I just really love pretzels and want to peek in through the glass wall. He's going to think I am creepy anyway and I have enough airport problems for now without adding this to it.
hopefully I will now finally make it to my destination without dying in between.

Hate? What's that?

Hate is a powerful word. We prefer using dislike, disapprove and all these substitutes, but deep down we know that we HATE whatever it is.
We set our own limits for the kinds of hate we feel. Sometimes it is so overpowering that one cannot think of anything else. Sometimes it's like a piece of coal on a hookah, burning itself out slowly.
Often, hate gives way to indifference and indifference gives way to hate. It is like a chemical reaction that can go either way. It pretty much depends on the length of time you've been hating. haha
A lot of people say one shouldn't waste energy on hating, that they could do so much more if they didn't hate. I respectfully and very strongly disagree. Hate, dislike, and such assorted feelings are motivation to work to be able to say to the other person , In your face.
Perhaps the satisfaction of doing that is unmatched by anything else.
Much as the people in this world would like to say that they do not hate, are peace loving people etc etc, which they might be, no one can deny the fact that everyone hates.
Much as we'd like to be a society filled with love, understanding, compassion and all such things, we all have our moments of strong negative feelings.
Of course every individual decides the magnitude, length, breadth, depth and all that, but it is impossible to disregard the presence of these feelings, however deep one buries them.
We, as a society still exist because the good overpowers the bad. The tales talk of the triumph of good over evil. A lot of things go into the grey area. If people started sorting them in just black and white, life would be so much more difficult than it already is.
Hate doesn't necessarily equal violence. Staying true to my sun sign, I hold grudges for a long time and am terrible at forgiving people. But I do not necessarily go ahead and punch those people in their face, much as I would like to.
Perhaps we all realize that violence is not going to help us, maybe the effort put into achieving something big , if only to say "in your face" will. And that's pretty harmless, if I may say so. 

It is all about perception. What you think is right, is right for you. Not for the rest of the world. Having your own opinion about things doesn't automatically entitle you to force it on others.
Human beings have an inferiority complex since when they are born and that is what motivates them to achieve something. The problem begins when one starts having a superiority complex.
The problem gets even more complex when a man thinks he has rights just because he is a MAN. And that's why there's a reason I think most men are incapable of ever treating a woman as their equal. Just because they have a big ego bubble no one burst them out of in childhood. Sometimes I pity them.
I saw the movie Ishaaqzade, and immediately thought of how inter-caste marriages are still frowned upon. I saw how sad it was that they had to die. But I did not realize the underlying twisted message the movie was sending to the average college going guy. The movie's plot was actually simple.
Guy makes girl fall in love with her. Guy rapes girl. Guy leaves girl. Girl goes after him to kill him. Guy's mother convinces her he loves her. Eventually guy loves her. Girl and guy die.
Did the movie producers even realize that the message they were sending out to the youth was this messed up? That typical college going guy is going to rape the girl he likes because he thinks she's going to end up falling in love with him. As if we didn't have enough rapists in India. As if it wasn't enough that the capital city of India is also know as the rape capital of India?

I thought Amir Khan would already have picked up on this. Combine rape, the number of suicides due to rape, female foeticide and the number of death due to dowry and hello world, you have no female left. Good luck continuing your race then human kind. It is a sad world we live in. 

 How are men so stupid sometimes? How does raping a woman give you an ego boost? It 's inflated as it is, don't blow it up too much. Your ego will blow up in your face and you'll realise all you had was your ego.

How easy is it for everyone to blame the woman. When two guys fight, do you ever say one of the guys was asking for it? Or wait, even better, he was wearing "clothes" that said, come pick a fight with me?
We're all born a bunch of hypocrites, the least we can do is keep our hypocrisy in check.
I sound self-righteous. But I never forced anyone in front of the computer and asked them to read the blog. so deal with it. :)

All pictures from : https://www.facebook.com/gotstared

unrelated tangents

It does not bother me when people say I have extremist views when it comes to women's rights. Neither does it bother me when I am called a  feminist. I prefer to have an opinion, albeit a strong one, than having no opinion at all. I'd rather feel strongly about something and have be loud and opinionated than shut up and have no opinion about it.
I belong to the female gender and therefore am more concerned about gender violence against females. There are more males than females in the world and therefore, enough of the male gender to care about their rights. Some men should stop making this about them. It has nothing to do with their rights, it just has to do with women's rights. And hey, if you have such a big problem with how women are fighting for their rights, why don't you just give them what they want? That's what you think women need anyway, give them what they want and they'll shut up.
It makes me really mad when I read in the papers that girls, not even women, get raped left right and center. And the society says he girl asked for it. The day these women snap, you will be left with absolutely no words in your mouth. Speechlessness will take on a new meaning. If men shut the dirty parts of their brains, perhaps they might not think every girl is asking for it. How are you asking to get raped if you're wearing a salwar kameez? What do you want the society to do? Wear a sack? Oh wait, the society will figure out a problem with that one too. After all, we are a patriarchal society, where men make rules for women for the benefit of other men.
I am fully appreciative of the numerous exceptions that exist in the male gender. However, that does not right the wrong done.




Favorite picture? Yes please. If I could, I would say this to so many people. You'd be surprised at how many people I have on that list. I love verbally dueling people.
And I've been discovering online comics left right and center. I practically went through one entire site right now. It is hilarious. and Indian. And just couldn't resist. After all, you get a laptop to class to multi-task, right? I discover these comic-strip sites online so randomly sometimes I don't even remember how I got there. For lack of a better word, or the right word, I call them comic-strip sites. Which does not decrease their awesomeness in anyway.
I go off on completely unrelated tangents sometimes. That's exactly what happens when I leave a blog post unfinished and come back to it when I procrastinate. Today was Procrastination level 400. One of my friends thought I wished there was a class like that. I told him I do enough of it on my own to want a class.
Ending on a cold and miserable note, I wish the weather would cheer up. Not that I am a fan of sunny weather. I am the most un-sunniest person you'll come across, but but but, rain wind and cold in April is just not right. But you gotta do what you gotta do, and go to class wearing a jacket you thought you could finally pack away because it was summer. Sure. 

That's just messed up

I don't really have an opinion about defense mechanisms. Or maybe I do. They work, most of the times? Maybe sometimes. Sometimes its the wrong people you use them against, and you're like oops, that wall shouldn't have been there. And then, those people force you to put them up for all the wrong reasons? I wouldn't really know. And I think they don't even realize. And I don't think its their fault either. That's just the way some people become, experts at putting up defense mechanisms.
There's the first set of defense mechanisms. The you let people get through them. And then they're in way too much to not force you to put up another set of defense mechanisms in place, only so you don't have to deal with stuff. That's just really messed up.
That and over thinking things. I over think. Way too much for my own good. And then I'm like, wtf am I doing, and go back to over thinking things. That's even more messed up. And really scary, because over thinking is like  a concentric circle. You just go round and round and round and round. Rather a downward concentric spiral. It's mad difficult to shut your brain and get back to real life. But then how isn't overt thinking not real life? You're just examining things and possibilities that could happen. So over thinking sounds just about right.
So then, defense mechanisms and over thinking are so typically human. You just don't realize it. But now you do, because I told you. People should listen to me. I should write a self- help book. oh ha ha. That would be so much fun. I could mess people and get paid for it. Wait, couldn't you do that by counseling people too?
I was forcefully made to hear Niki Minaj's song, You're a stupid hoe. The only question I asked was, why am I still alive? Not that I am a music major or anything, but man that song is ridiculous. What is she? The next Lady Gaga or something. I thought on was enough for this world. And I know my music, I might listen to a lot of bollywood stuff, but when I listen to angrezi stuff, it's pretty much the right thing. Wait, why again do people like Niki Minaj?

Growing up, with sarcasm, and fandoms

As you grow up,  the stakes for everything you do, become higher. When you were in school, a missed assignment could still get you full points, because you could go talk to the teacher who's known you since kindergarten, and offer to do it after school. College is a different ballgame. A missed assignment is a missed assignment. Rarely will you be able to do what you did in school. That missed assignment is the difference between a B+ and an A. Which could be the difference between a gpa of 3.94 and  a 4.0, which in turn is the difference between making it to the dean's list or not, which in turn is the difference between getting a prestigious internship, or not. See how the stakes increase tenfold?
As you grow up, your actions take on a different meaning. There's a difference between bunking school to go to a movie and sneaking out of the hostel at night to hangout with friends. Think back, hasn't life itself taken a different meaning than it did before?

As one grows up, same things take different meanings. Same things different meanings. Pocket money as a kid is oh-that's-just pocket money. Go to college, and see what money means. Start working and see what money means. Die, and see what money means, in your will and especially to those not in your will. ha ha.
Growing up, do you not expect more from yourself? Do you not realize that as things around you change, so do you. That you cannot be the same person you were last year, or last month, or last week, or even yesterday. If you do not, I sincerely hope someone pulls you out of your tiny little comfortable cocoon into real life.

It annoys me when people, especially my age, don't get sarcasm. I just rationalize to myself that they're just stupid. And have absolutely no intellectual understanding of the world. And stupid. Because, everyone should get sarcasm. Thereby, making their life easier.

Dear girl beside me, you should probably stop looking at yourself in the webcam and pay more attention to what the professor is saying. Or do something productive, like write a blog. Now I can maximize my window because I'm done writing about her.

Watching the hunger games this weekend. Can't Wait!! The Hunger Games trilogy is epic, and I keep saying this over and over again, and to everyone I come across, that The Hunger Games is going to be the next biggest fandom after Harry Potter. Fandom wars? Already begun. Also, my two favorite pictures of all time right now portray a merging of the fandoms, which I LOVE!


"My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note
Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low"
-Gym Class Heroes
Catchy tune. But, why would a human being be a radio. No, really, why? How do you turn up the volume on a human being? Oh wait, let me just twist your ear in this direction so that I can increase your volume. Duh. 



Since this thing refuses to align properly after pasting the pictures, I conclude the post out of frustration.

Very intelligent, the person who thought of this.

Harry potter + Hunger Games + Sherlock + LOTR + Dr.Who

Spring Break Laziness

Uncertainty is annoying. Not having a plan is annoying. Not knowing how things will happen is annoying. So by default, the future is annoying you say? Nope, just scary. Not really, if there's a plan, if there's a general idea about what might happen instead of it being all misty like a very cold wintry morning with lots of fog.
The committee I am a part of for one of our college events was discussing how to represent the event with images. And a very intelligent person said, the future is uncertain, and hence undefined. The past and the present can be defined by words and actions. Therefore, the best way to represent that is to show a path that fades into the mists. That's good imagery right there.

The moment when you realize you've become resistant to something, so much so, that it absolutely has no effect on you. Coffee, yes. I am now on a  quest to find something that mimic the effects if coffee in my body because apparently, coffee doesn't seem to be doing its job. With finals looming over my head like a huge box about to fall down and crush me underneath, I felt the need to undertake such a difficult journey. Only time will tell if I shall be victorious or not!
Flowers die you know, and so do we. So why do we live? Because it's fun? uh huh. That's just false reassurances. False reassurances are so common. Try and count how many you get in a day. You might surprise yourself with the number you get and give in return. Well we all deceive people don't we? Deception 101 should be a certified college course taught by the masters in that field. Maybe after that you could become an auror, and so could I. yay!  See, deceiving yourself right there. 
Listening to songs mindlessly until I get tired of them, Playing games on facebook until I run out of lives, Waking up only when someone calls me, Wondering why uberhumor, iwastesomuchtime and such sites do not upload content on an hourly basis, making a meme to ask my best friend why she wont skype with me because writing on her wall or texting her is too mainstream, re-reading the hunger games, going shopping and not buying anything and feeling proud of myself for showing immense self-control, waiting for the week to end only because that brings me closer to my first paycheck, not wanting the week to end because that will mean not lazing around, multi-tasking means being able to watch tv and listen to music and play a game all at the same time, watching charlie and the chocolate factory for the umpteenth time, writing a paragraph with commas because the use of full stops is too overrated. Heelloooo Spring Break!
On a completely unrelated note, like the entire post,
"In the book of love, you come of age,
 When you lose a love, you turn the page."
This, is just a polite way of saying move on. 

Presenting music,in the role of eternal mood lifter

Whenever I am up late, I end up writing a new post. Looks like I get all my inspiration from the darkness. That would be true since not a lot of my blog posts are sun shiny, more like the exact opposite of it. Two ends of a rainbow. One from where the sun rises, the other where the sun's light doesn't touch anything, directly of course. Moonlight is reflected sunlight. Except if it is a no-moon night. Which might be called a moonless night, but I don't seem to be able to recall the right word. It is 2.30 am, I don't blame myself.
So I don't think the Twilight Saga is as epic as Harry Potter, or the Hunger Games for that matter, but I kind of appreciate Stephanie Meyer's attempt, which was pathetic, at writing a love story. Well she tried you know. So my point is, the books might be useless, bu the Breaking Dawn movie soundtrack is amazing, since I've been listening to it since the past 3 hours. On repeat. The soundtrack has nothing to do with the plot of the movie or the book, it should probably be judged independently.
Th breaking dawn soundtrack has like 50 different songs all by different artists. I am suitably impressed. Music brings me to more music. I just heard the track Bali from the Hindi movie Shaitan. Oh its a badass movie, if you idiots haven't seen it yet. Not for the weak-hearted-oh-I-am-freaking-out-coz-they-just-killed-someone-with-a-omg-what-is-that-a-HUMMER-with-Canadian-license-plates (this could go on forever and I could just write the entire plot of the movie which would kinda miss the point of the post since I don't do movie reviews, and the bracket could go on forever too, back to outside the bracket) kind of people.
So back to Bali, which I listened to on repeat in the morning, as usual, in an attempt to stay awake. But I failed, miserably, since I was knocked out for 4 hours straight after that. Although I must say, I am a proud person today, I mastered the art of sleeping throughout a class while waking up at the right times to take notes. 1 hour 20 minutes of sleeping with gaps to take notes.
On a different note, which is essentially the same, I like to listen to music I can tap my feet too and go boom-boom-boom-dsshhh when I'm listening to it on the bus. Also, I fail to understand why people use headphones. Why not share your music, You're already listening to at such a high volume, everyone around you knows what song you're listening to you. Be nice, remove the headphones, and share your music with the world, however shitty it is. And please, stop wasting money on those large headphones, I honestly have no idea if they have some other name, I just call them the large headphones, because people can hear your music anyway. No really, buy yourself some nice music on itunes with that.

I drove a nail in the bottom of my walking boot,
So I wail every time I hit the floor.

So that's just one of the songs I am listening to. The song is so me. One, it would take me a long time to admit that I made a mistake, and when I do, I apologize, but in my own way. Make a mistake, and still want things my own way. Pretty hard-headed. Yessir. Of course I curse and scream and stomp first and then admit I made a mistake. That's how I roll. Like a barrel. Since barrels roll. No, I am not a  barrel, the reference is to a barrel's characteristics and what it does. Which in no way means I am one. Fat and short and stout. Nope. Not a barrel by a far far shot. 

Hey, hey what say,
intend to stop me this giveth day
And oh, don't live in fear
said the neighbor that visits here

Surprisingly, I can handle some of rap. Music I mean. And classical music. the angrez classical music. DEsi classical music I can handle anytime. Bring it on. Having spent five years, I can take a lot of it yet cannot sing to save my life. Oh the ironies of life. Spend years learning classical music, end up getting a degree in classical dance.
I would sleep, but I have the sudden urge to finish reading an article about global climate change and globalization and how we are going to run out of oil and coal and natural gas in the future and die because of the insane amounts of carbon-dioxide in the air, jk, we won't die if we can have a cap on carbon emissions. The article is kind of unfair. Because it asks developing country to control their carbon dioxide emissions whereas the developed or the "global north" are responsible for it. I tend to take everything said about developing countries personally. Very very personally. Ending with really funny lyrics,

Sellotape an end to
sellotape an end to
sellotape an end to
sellotape an end...
Harder thought, mosquito
Right down
my fickle hands, machine surprises
meant for me

They sounded funnier when I heard the song. Oh well, maybe they seem like some weird profound poem which might help you figure out the meaning of life, existence, something like that.

to change or not to change

You are a weird person when in the middle of reading a book about Globalization and Global climate change, you put the book down to write a blog post about a completely unrelated topic. Unrelated is an understatement, a topic on the other end of the rainbow than Globalization and Global climate change. Yes, I just admitted I'm really weird and that I have to take such a class in college. 
But, on a separate note, I just realized I absolutely hate change. Like abhor it, dislike it to infinity. If I it was up to me, I would do everything in my power to not let things around me change. It isn't always in my hands, but when it is, I make sure that is what I do. I don't know and don't care what the rest of the world thinks about change. I care about what I think about change. And I do not take kindly to it. 
Letting things change is plain foolish, involves implicit and blind trust in people, which again is just plain foolish. Why would you willingly go out of your way to make your life more difficult. Yes of course I've heard change is the only thing that is constant and all that, and I'm not convinced. And I don't intend to, till of course I am forced to, and then, we shall see. We, shall definitely see who changes who. 
You're just rationalizing if you have to keep telling yourself over and over again that change is good. Definitely rationalizing. Just FYI, rationalizing when you have to keep stating something over and over again to convince yourself that that particular thing is true/right. Sound familiar? Of course it does. Because everyone does it on such a regular basis without even realizing that they're doing it. No use denying it. Because you do it too. Popped your bubble now did I?
A penny for a spool of thread,
A penny for a needle—
That's the way the money goes,
Pop! goes the weasel.
Which randomly brings me to Flora Rheta Schreiber's book,Sybil, on Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). She uses   the rhyme in such a disturbing way, I've never been able to read the rhyme the same way ever since then. MPD is interesting, if you can digest it. If you can't, you'd probably just be way too horrified about the shit that happens in the rest of the world outside your tiny little bubble.  

I'd like to be more sarcastic and pop more bubbles but there's a time and place for everything. For now, I should be getting back to Globalization and Global climate change, which is Environmental Education in 11th and 12th Grade, taken to a whole new annoying level. 

one of those days, when you just don't care

Doesn't it happen to everyone, those days when you choose to just not care. They definitely come like once a week for me. Mostly Thursdays, since I'm stuck with four classes on a different campus from where I live. Going back is futile because the time I spend on the bus I could use sleeping in the library. Not to say that the library I sleep in is amazing, for sleeping I mean.
I have been cursing people left right and center since the morning for getting into my way. I mean honestly if I had a wand, and I wouldn't be a squib, I would have definitely cursed the shit out of everyone.
Waking up cranky the ext morning because you were trying to figure out stupid HTML last night is not a good feeling, and on a day where sleep isn't going to come to you anytime soon, except of course the         library.
So I was contemplating what curse to use when my first class got over. As I was walking to the dining hall to eat, and it was cold and windy (the disgusting preserved cherry which tastes of benzaldehyde, on the top), and people just wouldn't move fast enough. gawdddd reallyyy?
So I found this really nice place in one of the libraries on Thursday. I fully intended to get work done in the two hour gap between classes, but I had an entire sofa to myself which is in a warm little corner and I fell asleep. Most of the people I saw there were either talking, eating or sleeping. And then the other day, I see this girl come and sit in a corner of the library, open her bag of some sweet thing from Starbucks, take out her phone, and talk the time she was there. I'm like really? like I get that people come to sleep, to eat and to study, once in a while, but talking on the phone? That's just silly. Like that girl was. stupid and silly. silly and stupid.
yes I like ranting about shit that annoys me. Problem? No problem, go read some other blog. In the words of Neena Gupta from "kamzor kadi kaun" : "aap jaa sakte hain. Namaste". Line cracks me up everytime I say it out loud.
Also, of course I have something harry potter related to say :D only anyone who has ever read the Harry Potter books will get it , because then they would actually be able to sing this in their head (like me :D) aaaayooooo, my name is draaaa-coooooo !!



And then this. Just find the ferret one funnier but still sing along with this, ah-ohhhhhhhh, my name is draaaa-ccoooo !



library to harry potter to the end of an extremely frustrating week. the beginning of a weekend with a cancelled class (yay!) and a bollywood movie in amreeka, I think I can make up for a  very shitty week. The flat screen in my dorm lounge just boosts my plans for a lazy weekend. hah.
On a different note, I think the Hunger Games is going to have a cult following like Harry Potter.
Let the Hunger Games craziness begin!!!

keep pressing the buttons on the remote, get to the right channel

Hiding disappointment behind your words is perhaps the biggest favor you can do to yourself and the rest of the world. It is a pretty well known fact that no one cares and no one wants to listen to you talk about how disappointed you are with a particular thing or event or person, or how bummed out you are about it. You might as well shut up and save yourself the embarrassment/pain/shock however you might want to take it.
Easy way? Write.
I think I've been giving way too much advice to everyone about how they should write if they don't want to talk. Talk about talking like a know-it-all, precisely the kind of people I detest. But, since I have proof that it works, I have a right to talk like a know-it-all.Yeah like, write. Best thing ever, write and tear that shit up. Even more helpful. But people are way too lazy to actually put pen to paper, even me. And face it, typing is faster, your hands don't pain as much etc etc. Yes yes, take the easy way out as long as you do what you're supposed to, if that even makes sense, which I'm sure doesn't, then you're way too stupid to be reading this post.
Its not just disappointment, there's anger too. And a whole bunch of other things. But I talk only from experience, therefore, this post will not turn into a self-help thing about how to channel your emotions and what not. You have the Chicken Soup books for that. Go read.
Gym is like the best place ever. Why you might ask? One, you see really cute guys working out and lifting weights, or girls working out, if that's what you prefer. And then people like me, who have anger issues, grudge issues and what not, can very successfully take it out on the elliptical and no one takes a punch to their nose or a slap to their cheek, literally. Its all for the good of the mankind. Trust me. Oh and I firmly believe does not have anger issues if one knows where to channel them. No violence does not count as the right channel. Gymming does, something productive does. People's definition of productive might differ, of course. Lets just leave it at, as long as you don't kill someone, you're good.
Food calls me, like always. If this makes sense to you, you can safely assume you're extremely intelligent and well- read. If it doesn't, well, do I have to say it? Yes I can be discriminatory. Fun isn't it?

afterlife anyone?

It's funny how the unknown puzzles us more than anything else. The more mysterious it is, the more you want to know about it, oh well, at least I do. I'm one of those people who asks so many questions that the other person gets annoyed. So much so that once, my sister threatened to never ever share a single piece of gossip with me if I didn't stop asking her so many questions. Not that this post is about how I ask an insane amount of questions and drive other people to the brink of annoyance. ha ha.
So the other day, I was thinking what happens to us after we die? Do we just stop existing. One moment your alive, the next moment you're dead and snap, you're done existing.
People claim to have had out of body experiences, or near death experiences. They haven't really died and then come back, so who's to say whether they're right or not.
Or maybe it is like Ghost whisperer? You go into this thing called "The Light".
And then there is my best friend's version of how things work. So apparently, he thinks afterlife is like Disneyland ( I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y? ), the good people are the customers and the bad people are the shopkeepers.
The long discussion we had resulted in so many options.
Is it about faith though? What happens to you after you die depends on what you believed in when you were alive. And well, if you didn't believe in anything, what then? either you're reborn and go through the whole cycle again or you go to heaven/hell. Take your pick.
The discussion was actually futile, since instead of arriving at any sort of a conclusion, I just succeeded in confusing myself even more (yay). Not to say that it made me feel very intelligent that I could think so much and ask real good questions.
Oh well, like I always say, everyone needs reassurance even if it is about the ability to think, or the ability to look good, or be nice maybe or be intelligent or whatever it is.
I still think we just stop existing. Poof, and oh you're D-E-A-D.
If you're going to stop existing, what's the point of existing.
Ah no, that is not a valid excuse to say studying is futile and you'd rather spend your life vacationing. Try that on your parents. hah. Oh wait the world is going to end in about 11 months , or is it?
I end with the words of a friend, "Good Question" .