Surviving Sandy

I should probably thank all my lucky stars and everything related to it that I survived Sandy. Not everyone did. Not everyone escaped with the only damage being loss of power in their houses. Considering our location, I am thankful I wasn't at a place where I had to evacuate all of a sudden. Living without power for a day is preferable than not having a place to live at. And definitely more preferable than having my entire dorm flooded.
I keep reading the news and seeing the pictures and videos and realize and re-realize how lucky I was. Despite being in a place located right in the middle of the path of the storm, I feel like I escaped with minimal damage.
We thought we were all prepared to face the storm. We had food, water, flashlights and stuff planned for the two days school was supposed to be off. We were under the impression it would pass. Sunday night was awesome.Monday night started with rains and winds and we thought oh well, how could you not expect winds and rains with a storm approaching. We had mega plans of cooking awesome food and eating and sleeping for two entire days, with some studying somewhere in there. Then we'd get back to school and the usual routine. We were just lucky people that Rutgers gave us two days off. And that was that.
Monday evening comes and we are constantly watching the news trying to figure out how the night ahead would be like. It didn't really sound too promising but we were hoping for the best. In preparation for the night that lay ahead of is, we made bhajiyas and pani puri. My motto being, If we die, we might a well die eating good food. And in then in the middle of making bhajiyas, the lights start flickering. We ran around preparing for the power to go. And the power went out with a bang. The winds were at their highest, we were eating bhajiyas and we hear loud thumping sounds. We run down 12 flights of stairs, only to have the power go out when we were in the lobby. We climb up 12 flights of stairs only to find a dark apartment. The next 45 minutes were probably the scariest. We sat looking at each other's faces for a while. It felt like a roller coaster ride which I couldn't get off of.
Once we figured out the wind was going to be like this and we were not going to have power, we started eating again. which is not suprising. From then on, the only problem was pooping. haha. In times of crisis, humor is your best weapon. Sitting in the candle light, eating, and talking, that's what we discovered..
We got through the night and that was probably a big big thing for us!
Getting through that night probably made me re-think life, atleast for now. Also the realization that nothing can be taken for granted ever, not even the smallest of things we have in life.
Thank god for the two people I was with. We survived the hurricane together. yay to us! We are awesome, definitely awesome! 

for dust you are, and to dust you will return

There is nothing happy or positive about death. Whether it is the statement that they have moved on to a better place or that they have found peace at last. None of these half-hearted consolations manage to fill the void that death leaves behind. All it leaves behind is an overwhelming amount of pain and memories. Try as you might. it is kind of difficult to not deal with it alone. Because face it, who the hell cares? And the people who do, are probably dealing with their own set of problems. 
People tell me I am too pessimistic and cynical. Also while on one of those semi-pessimistic sprees, my mother did point out that things have fallen into place, so far, despite taking its own sweet time. Some people are just lucky, I am so unlucky I don't even win at the slot machines. My sister pointed out once that since I now know that luck isn't my strongest point, maybe I should start working my ass off for things I want in life. Good point. 
Some people will judge you no matter how close they are to you. You might expect them to be the last people on earth to judge you, but they do, and they do it quiet well, probably so well that no one else might be able to do it. I am assuming its just too tempting to not do it even for your friends.oh well. 
This semester has probably been the worst semester of my college life so far. I have absolutely no idea how I have so much work and stuff to do, but I do. It just pops up one after the other and scares me. Like when slice of bread pops out of the toaster and scares the shit out of you with the *ting* noise it makes. The end of the semester also brings me closer to going home. And therefore, closer to coming back from home. I worry and stress about things months away. Maybe I should have just stuck to studying psychology and treated myself. Even with probably the best set of Professors I have ever had, the semester is probably going to be the death of me. If my teeth don't get to me first. 
Repression has become one of my favorite techniques to deal with stuff. Mainly applying for my internships. It works though, as long as it is repressed. Then I need chocolate. And I start watching Hindi serials. More repression to repress the repression. That's called repreception. I probably should stop repressing stuff. 
Just to reiterate the beginning of the post, 
    "If they answer not to thy call walk alone.

If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,

O thou unlucky one,

open thy mind and speak out alone.

If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,

O thou unlucky one,

trample the thorns under thy tread,

and along the blood-lined track travel alone.

If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,

O thou unlucky one,

with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart

and let it burn alone. "

Listening to this in Amitabh Bacchan's voice just doubles the effects of the words on you.